Thursday, February 9, 2012

Is this funny? Ham sandwich?

March 28, 2010 by  
Filed under Gourmet Mustard

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce, and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of his jaws aching in anticipation, he carried it to the picnic table in his backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by his wife suddenly at his side. “Hold Johnny (their six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,” she said.

He had him balanced between his left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when he noticed a streak of mustard on his fingers.

He loves mustard.

He had no napkin.

He licked it off.

It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster.

It was the first and only time he sprinted with his tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand he did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only he did it on his tongue.

Later his wife said, “Now you know why they call that mustard “Poupon.”

Comments

22 Responses to “Is this funny? Ham sandwich?”
  1. The Computer Geek/Psychologist says:

    Lol wtf

  2. Dana Katherine says:

    Yes it was funny the first time I read it five years ago in an email forward. But now that I know the punchline, it’s not as funny to me.

  3. Parker says:

    pretty lame. you should quit.

  4. Patrick says:

    no not at all

  5. I Yam What I Yam! says:

    Eww… Gross.

  6. kimpossible522 says:

    no.

  7. mcdermond3 says:

    hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. "What the-- Vicki?" says:

    Sorta funny… -ish

  9. Bohdisatva says:

    the narrative is over descriptive but the joke has potential.

  10. Johnney Blue says:

    I am laughing so hard, they heard me in Kalamazoo

  11. itzthomaz says:

    LOL
    amazing!!!!!
    !!!!!!!

  12. DC says:

    that’s sick but its kind of funny

  13. ?? FlAg GuRl! I? ?? says:

    haha!!!!!!!!!!! i ? it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Pretending To Work says:

    NOT. I can’t believe I read the whole thing.

  15. MissBri says:

    ew

    but what mustard is golden brown? where do you live? I’ve only had the bright yellow stuff…and don’t really like it…

  16. LUCKYGIRL says:

    Omg that is the funniest joke i have heard in a long time…any mother or father would laugh at this one…sorry for the dude it happened too but im sure he got a lot of fiber that day….lol just cute

  17. laughinggirlfullofjoy says:

    It is in the funny “area”

  18. princess_m says:

    that is to cute. i love it.

  19. Utheman11 says:

    Ha!!! Oh thats a good 1!

  20. blond and proud says:

    hahahaha thats funny, nice way to tell the joke, i liked it =]

  21. meirulin1134 says:

    goddd hella funny…good one =]

  22. roynburton says:

    Yeah, it’s funny! Poor fellow…

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